The Beauty in Waiting

      No one really tells you how hard it’s going to be.

They say love is patient, love is kind, but they don’t tell you that love can also be lonely, especially when it lives across time zones and tangled call schedules. They don’t talk enough about the waiting. The silence on days when one of you is just too tired to text back.

But love, if it’s real, teaches you things, even through the distance.

For me, I think the first lesson was this:

Love isn’t about constant presence. It’s about consistent intention.

Some days we talk for hours, other days we don’t talk much at all. But I’ve stopped measuring love by the number of messages or calls. I measure it by the warmth I feel when I wake up to his "Good morning, beautiful" texts or when he checks in after a long day just to ask if I’ve eaten and how I slept. It’s not about always being there, it’s about showing up when it matters most.

Another lesson?
You have to believe in something you can’t always see.

Trust becomes more than a word. It becomes a decision, sometimes daily, to believe them, even when the doubt creeps in. You learn to stop overthinking their silences. 

And then, there’s this one:
You get closer by learning how to listen.

Not just to words, but to their tone, their pauses. The weight behind a “I’m fine.” You learn to read them, feel them, even through a screen and somehow, that brings you closer than proximity ever could.

I also learned that being apart forces you to really see yourself. Distance has this way of putting a mirror in front of you. You can’t rely on cuddles to solve arguments, or kisses to end hard conversations. You actually have to talk. To sit with discomfort. To learn how to be soft with each other, even when it’s hard. To forgive and then forgive again.

That’s another thing distance teaches you:
You grow or you crumble. There’s no in-between.

And sure, I’ve had my moments, those “is this even worth it?” days. I’ve cried into my pillow more times than I care to admit. I’ve replayed our most recent goodnight in my head so many times it’s worn out.

But every time I hear his laugh, or watch her eyes light up on video call with me, I remember —
this is the kind of love I’d wait for.

Fight for. Grow for.

And I did. I waited 42 years for him. For a love like his. Some days I was impatient. Others I was content in the waiting. But, I never gave up that my person was out there. The path from your head to your heart is a difficult journey. It's one you have to choose to travel if you really want true love.

I had been in the worst of the worst relationships and I was done with it. I was done with doing it my way. I knew I wasn't asking too much from someone. I was just asking the wrong person. Because being loved by someone who went to God in order to find me is someone worth waiting for. 

So if you’re reading this and loving someone from afar too, just know, you’re not weak for struggling, you’re not foolish for believing, you’re just in the middle of learning one of the hardest, most beautiful lessons life can give you:

Love doesn’t need a shared location, it just needs two hearts willing to meet halfway, again and again never giving up.

—

Somewhere Out There,

Andrea